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So many people, so much frustration.

The mall was even more packed today than what it was yesterday. But that's no surprise, I mean what else can one do on a Sunday than go shopping, especially since no other malls / shops are yet open throughout the week... :D We did spend a good two hours there, though. I found a pink dress from Vila that I had previously noticed at Stockmann, and my sister got the same one in baby blue. I also bought a big ring from H&M, a couple of black clip-on extensions, mascara and hand cream. I know I shouldn't be spending since I am soon going to be fucking poor, but whatever, I'll just spend and enjoy as long as I have the money.

We took a couple of pics on a bus stop once we came back to the city. (Our intention was to take pics at the mall but with all the people, no thanks.)

On to the pictures...Collapse )

What happens next?

I am getting a little anxious about my future.... once again. Three more weeks at the museum, and I'll graduate. (Let's fucking hope I will! Something could always go terribly wrong you know, like me not having completed enough courses or something.) But assuming that the graduation does go well, what will I do next? This question depresses me quite a lot because how the hell will I manage to live, in other words pay for the rent, the bills.. and what about food, clothes and activities... since I have no incomes. I haven't got a fucking job, and I doubt I'll even get one! "/

What a bright future.

I know I am not getting in to the business school next fall... no matter how hard I try. That because I just read that there were almost a thousand applicants this year. (I tried to get in to Tampere two years ago, and failed. This time my second choice wasn't Vaasa but Turku, so I won't be getting in anywhere.) What the hell am I supposed to do without a job or a place to study? I have no fucking idea.

But so much for the angst now. The situation will not change no matter how much I think it over... All I can do is hope that everything's going to turn out okay. (In other words, that the situation will improve without me putting any efford into it.)

Anyway, I'm going to do a little shopping with my sister today in the new mall which was opened last Friday. Yeah, I am on terms with my sister again. In the end it was me who had to put an end to the conflict. But whatever, I couldn't have afforded losing a friend since I really don't have that many. Well, I'm going to look for a nice, preferably pink, dress for the graduation. :) Something simple, though, so that I can have it in everyday use. Might also look for some cheap movies / cd's. And I'm taking my camera so we might take some pictures, too.

Why does it feel somewhat weird?

It's not like I haven't done this before... I mean I have skipped lots of school during my life... I also skipped a couple of days during my last internship, without contacting the hotel... and I even skipped work once, without contacting anyone! So why now, even though I sent an email to the manager, I feel somewhat weird about not going? If only I would have been replied. But no, no replies. Fuckshit, who cares if I do not go? I am not of that much use, sometimes I even feel like I'm a fucking burden what's with always asking everyone for little stupid tasks. I am so tired of working at the museum! But I have no idea where else to go, and if it's even possible. Okay, it is. I have heard of people changing their internship place after some weeks because of various reasons... I should probably contact my teacher.

I tried to send an enquirement to the Turku airport this morning but as I had written the email, I deleted it. Today's not my day! The reason I didn't send it is that I don't feel too good about myself right now. I wouldn't care if I wasn't taken there, it's just that I fear I am too lazy and will continue being a lazy ass loser who would rather stay home than work.

Shit, shit, shit. It will be really awkward to go to work tomorrow! But I'll get over it, even though I will be a little nervous. But I could have been sick for real, how would they know that I wasn't. And whatever, who the fuck cares. I just wish this internship period was over already.

All of a sudden I feel so confused and lost. I haven't heard from any of the places I sent applications to, which in a way is no surprise, but it does suck! I do need a fucking job, although I would rather just do nothing and get the money. But no, I have no job. I have no idea what I will do comes summer. Hopefully we will be able to go to Miami to visit dad. I need a break. I always do. I wish I had lots of money. Or a fucking job.

I hate today. Actually the reason I didn't go to the museum was because I couldn't fall asleep before 5 am and I was just too fucking tired to get up this morning. I'm still tired because after coming online to write the fucking email, I couldn't fall asleep anymore. "/ I went for an hour's walk, and I think I am going again soon. There's nothing to do, I am bored. (And I need to lose some weight, I feel like a fattie.)

Blah, and I thought everything was okay. Sometimes I wonder why I am always trying to make my life so hard...

Hullut Päivät!

Although I hate crowds, especially at big sales, I must say that one day I would love to be in Helsinki during Hullut Päivät. :D No, I am not crazy, I know it must be fucking chaotic and I'm sure I would go pretty much insane there... but it would be wonderful. Yesssss, I'm sure it would!

Anyway, when the (really exciting and fresh looking) catalog came about a week ago, I immediately went through it, and marked down the things I plan on buying... Some things I really desire, others are just an interest. Now today I wanted to get the 16 GB USB memory stick (20 euros) but once I went looking for them at around 11.30 am they were already sold out! "/ My sister had planned on getting one too (we went together on my lunch break), so needless to say, we were both a little disappointed. I ended up only buying leopard printed leggins and some candy & coke. But tomorrow! Tomorrow is the day. Because the OrigoMini light - by Eero Aarnio comes in sale. I have dreamed about a Double Bubble -light but the Origo is lovely too, so I'll start with it. And I'll definitely be at the door tomorrow morning at 8, and I will get my light!!! If for some reason there would be none, or they would be sold out.... I would kill someone and go straight back home.




It's beautiful, isn't it? :)

This morning I couldn't have been any less bothered to wake up at 7.20 so I slept in, going late to work.

I am now seriously considering changing my internship place... not that the museum wouldn't be an interesting working environment, it's just that I am not learning! And I want to learn... I need as much actual work expertice as possible if I ever want to get a fucking job. And I do want to! Today I sent in yet another application, an online application that is. I applied to be a reseptionist either at the spa in Naantali or in Ruissalo. But like I never heard from the two other places I sent applications to a month ago, I am not really expecting to hear from these places either. But anyway, back to the internship matter... I'm planning on calling the Turku airport tomorrow to enquire whether they would take an intern, and if so, in what position. If it doesn't work out, I'll try to come up with some other places... I am not too interested in doing my training in a hotel again, though. But what else is there?

Seven more weeks to go and I will graduate. Great, because I've been waiting to get out of school for a long long time already. But! Sucks, because I don't know what next! I don't want to move back home and just do nothing. "/ Damnit.

A fox.

I've been on the computer basically all day today. Sounds somewhat boring, I know... but it hasn't been too much so since I have been enjoying Photoshop... It's funny how you can pass hours on end with that program. If only I had my own computer here...! This is slow, hasn't got my media library, and I cannot really download anything. "/ I want to go look for a laptop soon.

Here's a little something.




Third week at the museum.

Although at times I feel somewhat frustrated at work, all in all I have had a nice time so far. The thing that bothers me is, they cannot really give me any special projects or such because I don't have any expertice in what comes to working at a museum. Thus I am given all the basic stuff like mailing, organizing some files, whatever easy (and sometimes boring) office work there is to be done at any given time. I was pretty tired at the beginning of the week, feeling more or less like I couldn't care less about working nor talking, but it went away yesterday. The opening of the 800 kilos of bones -exhibition was last night, and I went there with my sister. I was a little nervous to go although I knew another intern was going to go too... but in the end it was all cool. The other intern, Heini, hung out with us and we had a rather good time playing with the doll house representing a peasant house in the Middle Ages... :DDD Yeah, I guess we were kinda tired. The shampagne had nothing to do with the way we acted and put the house together. Haha, it was hilarious. Wish I could get ahold of the couple of pictures Jari took. We did tour the exhibition, although it has been seen before since we also attended the press conference earlier that day. However, my sister hadn't seen anything beforehand so it was nice for her to tour. We also played with pine cone cows, miniature bricks, and put together a miniature wooden barrel. Good times. :D Oh, and we just couldn't help imagining the ruins of a 16th century chapel being a rave place since the arch replicas are done with a fluorescent pink light... Well, anyway, tomorrow I am attending a marketing event in a shopping mall in Turku... The marketing is about the Medieval Turku event held every summer. The organizers are holding a draft and making the netsite more known. It should be fun since I get to dress up as a medieval lady! (The costume is so pretty, lime green and purple dress with a pillbox hat.) My sister might come see me and take some pics. I'm going to look so stupid, though. :D

I'm not going out this weekend, so I downloaded Photoshop Elements on this computer and I'm going to bursh up my PS skills a little. :) I'm also going to do my German exam plus some exercises... Haha, in the end, I needed not to go to Tampere to do that, which is nice. Although I am going ti Tampere next weekend anyway. If my sister comes along, we are probably going out somewhere. If not, then I'll probably have another alcohol free weekend.

Woo... alcohol is (not) my best friend.

Jejee, we're going to see Torture Killer tonight! :D Hopefully I won't bee too drunk, act too stupid... you know, the whole deal. Anyway, I'm just about to leave to Miia's place. I had a hard time deciding what to wear since I am used to dressing in color but I don't want to stand out from the black wearing crowd too much. I really hope we'll have a good time. (It feels somewhat weird to go see a metal band since I haven't been listening to much metal lately, especially death.) But whatever, I'm sure I'll feel it once they start to play. :DD

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About work and such.

I had a great time cleansing some ancient bones today at the museum. :)))) The bones need to be filed, so I am helping this other trainee to cleanse and tag them... and it's like the coolest thing ever. Haha, I was so excited and I seriously hope I'll get to continue tomorrow! I've always been interested in archeology, too, and cleansing the bits of bones found on the excavations made me feel like an archeologist... :P This was the best thing so far. Well, other than that and some basic office work I got to help with the disassembling of the old exhibition.

Although being an intern isn't very demanding, at least in fields of no expertise, working daily is quite exhausting. I'm always pretty tired when I come home, even if I haven't gone to the gym... like today. I also remember being tired during my internship at the hotel last spring. It was nice to be on-the-go almost daily, though, because that way one doesn't have time to worry about little things. (Like not having a life.) I do wish I had a weekend job, although it would consume my last energy supplies, but at least I would be earning some money and, what's more, my weekends would be busy. (With something else than shopping / going to clubs.) However, there aren't many openings.

I was working with my CV last night... which, since I haven't really done many, was basically just copying someone else's from the net, and changing all the info. :D I'm thinking of applying to Finavia (airports, that is) and Sokos hotels. Well, actually I am not just thinking, I will eventually do it. I just hate applying because I have a hard time praising myself... I never know what to say about myself, my interests, and such in order to make me look good. (Well, hire-able.)

Now if only I could choose the schools I want to apply to & the fields I want to study! (Let's hope I'll get a job, though.)

Just a quick update.

I finally got that new camera I have been talking about... and the one I ended up choosing was a Canon PowerShot SX110 IS. It's a little bigger than most of the compact digis on the market but there's a reason for that and I don't mind the size since it does fit in a normal purse / tote bag. I haven't really tried it well yet, I just took a couple of pics around the house to see how it works. But I'll play with it more tomorrow I guess. :)

This has been a lazy day anyway... Last night I was out with my sister and her boyfriend. Well, we spent most of the night at their place but yeah, we had a good time and since we, or at least I, didn't drink much, today was good, too. I watched The Hills marathon on MTV... which is somewhat weird since I always thought that show was pretty boring. However, after a couple of episodes I couldn't switch the channel anymore. (Although I guess I could have, had there been something good on.) Anyway, I want to go for a walk but I feel fucking lazy so we'll see about that. I'm going to the gym tomorrow with my sister, though.

Well, another week at the museum awaits me and I just hope it will be nice and interesting! :)

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